Taxi in Lowell, Mass. (web photo courtesy of Jamie Patrick Lewis, Downtown Lowell, Facebook group)
Cabbies at the Train Station
I had one guy, picked him up at Shaughnessy, wanted to go to Papa Gino’s in Burlington — said he had to see a guy — so I take him, and when we get there, he says, “The guy inside’ll cash my check” — “Oh, beautiful,” I say, and I follow him in — he says, “What’re you doing?” — I say, “I’m making sure you pay me” — he says, “I’ll be right out” — he comes out, says, “He won’t cash it” —
now the guy owes me thirty-four bucks — course I figure he just made his sale and now wants back to Lowell — so he says, “Take me back to my mother’s in Lowell — she’ll pay you” — okay, back to Lowell — another thirty-four bucks — now he owes me sixty-eight bucks — get to his mother’s house, and it’s total chaos — she comes out, yelling, “No money, no money” — kids are screaming — she’s hollering at the guy — he says, “Take me to my friend’s in the Highlands — he owes me money” — so we go — now he’s up to owing me about seventy-five—he gets out near Cupples Square and says, “It’s right here” —
I stop and watch, and he starts to run — voom! — I pull out and chase him in the cab—he runs across a parking lot, and I stop and jump out — I had called the cops on the radio — I caught him and beat the piss out of him — the cops said they couldn’t do much because he owed me less than a hundred-fifty bucks — I heard in New Hampshire you can get a guy pinched if he screws you out of five bucks.
Paul Marion (c) 2009